Break up with your partner is not an easy task especially when you have invested your times and efforts for making the relationship a strong bond. At the starting of the relationship, things look exciting but gradually with time, things at times start becoming bad. It becomes difficult to continue the relationship for a longer period of time in such cases. In the starting, waiting for your partner seems so much fun and it also seems amazing to know that your partner is also feeling in the same way. The happiness and level of excitement you have in your new relationship can overpower each and every hurdle coming in between. Though with time, things start changing between the couples as they start spending more time with each other better and understand each other deeply. There are many couples who start feeling more comfortable with their partner with each passing day, while for the others, each passing day starts bringing more trouble in between them and soon with the passage of time, these couples drift apart.
Reasons for break-up
Though the reasons for breaking ups among the couples are not the same, there are many issues that keep in increasing among the couples that start becoming bitter with days. The couples have different interests, ideas, thoughts, values, and feelings which don’t match with each and they start witnessing major differences among them which results in their break-ups. Since you start changing your mind or your feelings towards the other person, so obviously you don’t like spending time together anymore. The couples’ who start witnessing major differences start arguing or even the smallest matter as well, and now don’t want the same thing for them in the future which can be due to the fact that you started developing feelings for someone else or might be you have analyzed that you are not prepared to have a serious relationship right now.
Many couples have faced the bitterness in their relationship with gradually results in breaking with their partners; in case you have also suffered the same pain then you must know how it feels to stay away from your partner.
Relationship and Break-up
In case you are into a relationship and suddenly start believing that this relationship is not working anymore, then you must be having a combined feeling about it, whether you should end this relationship or not?. It’s a normal tendency to react differently and wonder will things turn better with your step or should you give your relationship another chance. You must take time before looking for ways to continue or end this relationship. Even in case, you think that your decision of breaking up with your partner means facing an awkward or difficult conversation which can make things more bitter, still, you have to take the step as there is no point continuing that relationship in which neither you nor your partner is happy. When you are ending a relationship with your partner, he/she might feel hurt, disappointed, pain, sad, or heartbroken as well, so you need to be extra careful and make sure that you are ending the relationship in a respectful way. Try not to hurt the hurt and use a polite tone with him/her before bombarding the news.
Get Over with..
Many people have a tendency not to start a difficult conversation worrying that it might hurt the partner, while others have a “just-get- over-it” attitude and they are least concerned about the consequences. But none of these ways to break the relationship is worthy at all as sometimes making delays in just prolongs the situation might hurt another person more. And in case you rush into a difficult conversation without thinking of the results, then you might regret your decision later. While breaking up with your partner, you need to follow some dos and don’t so that it won’t trouble your partner much.
Do’s and Don’t s for Break-up
Since every situation is different, so the dos and don’ts that you need to follow also differ from person to person. Though, there are some general “do’s and don’ts” which you can follow in case you are breaking up with your partner so that the situation becomes less troubling for your partner who loved you care for you at the most.
Things you must be mindful of for soft Break-up
- First of all, think why you are doing this and what will be the result, you can take enough time to rethink before disclosing this to your partner. You can reconsider your feelings and the reasons why you are making this decision and be honest to yourself so that you won’t regret it later. Even if your partner is getting hurt with your decision, you still need to be honest with yourself and with your partner as well; it’s all right even if he/she is getting hurt.
- You need to think about what you will be saying to your partner, and how your partner will react to it. Will your BF or GF feel surprised by your decision or it is something which he/she also wants. You need to step in the shoes of your partner before coming up with any kind of decision, think about his/her point of view and feelings as well which in turn will help in telling the decision in a more sensitive way. Get prepared for the kind of reaction which the other person will have once you break the news of breaking up to him/her.
- Your intentions should be to disclose the fact or your decision to your partner rather than making him/her feel disappointed or hurt. Let your partner know that you still matter a lot to you and rather than telling all the negatives of your partner, you must deal with the case in a more respectful way, you must tell him/her know about his/her qualities like honesty, kindness, respect, and caring attitude at the time you are parting ways.
- You must be honest but not brutal at all. Telling your feeling does not mean that you get the right to hurt your partner, you just need to respond in a polite way while revealing your decision. Honesty doesn’t mean that you get the license to be harsh with your partner and rather look for the ways by which you can be gentle and soft while letting him/her know about your decision.
- While you were in a relationship, you might have shared so many things with your partner so respect the time spend together and show your good qualities by breaking in a polite way with the person. In case you are revealing the information through a video chat or by calling him/her, then your tone should be polite and humble. You can also break up with your partner by texting him/her as it is a quite easy way to express what you feel for the relationship. Also, don’t say anything negative about your person as it will lower his/her motivation level as well.
- If you think someone can help you in dealing with the situation then approach that person who might help you in dealing with the current situation in a more relaxed way. You can talk about your feelings with a friend whom you trust a lot but make sure that the person whom you have trusted, will not disclose your information publicly and will make it a private affair only. Make sure that your BF/GF Is the first person hears who hears the news of breaking up from you as hearing the same piece of information from a common friend will hurt him/her the most.
Things you must strictly avoid
- Don’t try to avoid your partner or the conversation as it will make the case more stressed and you eventually will take more time to deal with it. Just dragging things will make the case more difficult and in case you have revealed the information of the breaking to your friend and not to your BF or GF, even after a longer period of time as well then there are higher chances that the information might leak out anyway. In case the other person with who you are breaking up hears the same information from someone else before hearing it from you, then it will make the situation more difficult to handle.
- Don’t get involved in a difficult conversation without thinking about it as you might feel sorry or regret in the future for the things you said in the present.
- Don’t ever disrespect your partner even in case you are separating from him/her; speaking about your ex in a disrespectful will ruin all the memories which you shared together in the past. Also, be careful that you don’t gossip about your ex with your friends, think about how your ex will feel about the same. Don’t let your ex stay with your negative thoughts once you no longer stay together; plus you will never know when your ex can turn to be your friend.
Dos and don’ts which you need to follow
These are some of the dos and don’ts which you need to follow in case you are planning to break-ups with your partner due to whatsoever the reason is. You can also follow the below-mentioned guidelines to break up with the person in the most gentle and polite way. Since now you are clear with your thoughts and decisions as well regarding breaking up with your partner, all you need is to take some time and to begin the conversation in a respectful and clear way. While breaking up with your partner, you need to plan things and your top-most priority must be not to hurt your partner.
- You can tell your BF or GF that you want to discuss something very important with him/her and you can start the conversation by saying that you value the other person and his/her thoughts as well.
- Then you can start mentioning why things are not working anymore despite trying harder for the same. Never say that you tried your best, rather say we tried our best.
- Once your partner gets a hint that you are planning to break up, let him/her know that you want to break up as this is the only best option for both of you.
- Say sorry in the beginning for hurting your partner as you don’t want any negative thoughts to come in the mind of your partner.
- You can say something kind or positive which can enhance the motivation level of your partner and he/she might not feel disturbed. You can explain that despite her best and kind gesture, things are not working fruitful and ending this relationship is a better idea rather than continuing it for long.
- Once you have disclosed your feelings to your partner you must pay equal attention to what the other person is saying. Listen to what your partner wants to say and be patient towards what he/she is saying. You must not feel surprised in case the other person is shattered by your decision and you must be prepared for it in advance.
- Give enough time to your ex to deal with the breakup and you can later follow a healthy conversation with your ex stating that you still care about him/her but rest other things are not working favorably.
Whether your relationship starting recently or you were involved in it, past so many years, every relationship can have special meaning and value in the life of the partners. Every relationship teaches us something which can be about ourselves, the life of another person, or even about our weaknesses as well. Every relationship gives us a chance to learn something about ourselves and about another person as well with whom you are into a relationship. Consider break-up as an opportunity to learn new and work on your weaknesses or flaws so that neither you nor your partner get hurt next time. Whenever you are breaking up with your partner do it with complete honesty and respect towards your partner, though ending a relationship is not that easy, still, you need the courage to disclose your feelings to your partner before it becomes too late.